Mother's Day Tea Party

My darling sweetie climbs the steps out of the preschool in her step and close way. She is holding a coffee filter flower and wearing our favourite pink knit dress with her sparkly shoes from her big girl friend Kara. It's her turn to escort me into the tea party. It takes her longer than the other kids but she is third in line so the excitement is still building and no one is impatient yet. She leads me carefully to our table and takes my seat while offering me hers. She is too excited to speak and I can't stop speaking and asking her questions. There is a present and place setting for each mom. We are all thrilled of course. The kids get up and do two songs with actions. She places herself front and centre, joining in and looking at her class mates for clues. She is among them and apart. The bond between some of the other kids is not there for her but everyone is friendly and her main connection is to the teachers. Now in this moment, she and her mom are dressed up for a tea party and there are strawberries and cupcakes and songs. What else could possibly matter?

Executive (mal)function, the new buzzword around here

The digital signage behind the bank tellers wind through their promotional material. I recognize one of the families in the photos. Not from this neighbourhood but from the daycare at the university where I work. It's funny to see the little boy when he was a baby. He is so recognizable with his distinct and intense features. My mind has plenty of time to lose itself along the path of this marketing campaign. I'm standing at the counter waiting as the very patient teller counts through the nine separate deposits I've brought for A's preschool. The preschool is run by parents and I am the banker. This is probably the last deposit I will do in this role and certainly the last big one. This feels like a milestone in the road to kindergarten or K-day. I've done this job for this pre-school year and I did it when her brother attended as well. On the first Saturday of every month, I bring the tuition cheques and any fundraising monies we have earned to the neighbourhood branch of our credit union and wait while everything is counted. If I had a tape machine, I wouldn't have to wait as they would just trust the tape but I don't and I don't mind the wait today as I'm on my own and there's no need to use all the eyes in the back of my head to monitor where my little peeps are. The evening before this trip involves some long tedious counting and writing out of deposit items. Nothing hard but it requires concentration on something and some quiet which are rare commodities.

I've used this tediousness as an example to explain to my son that some things we do are important but not that interesting or engaging. If I don't do this, the teachers won't be paid so I have to focus and do my best even though it's not interesting or fun. He has a challenge with executive function. That is the new way to say, he's disorganized, forgetful and loses everything despite his brilliance. I am using every tool I know of to help teach him to work through these challenges but I must say I'm exhausted. It turns out I may also have executive function challenges. I know how to get things done but I have had to learn how to cope, to outsmart myself into being able to function in many high pressure situations. I suppose that should put me in a good position to help someone else but parenthood is definitely stretching me to the limit. I'm reading about this challenge and like the hypochondriac that I am, I see the patterns in all of us. I may be the only one in the house with any executive function at all which may explain why I am 'so tired like a hell' as my grandma used to say. I'm sure I'll be writing about this more as my awareness increases. Maybe I'll even have some tips to share. In the meantime, greetings from my chaos to yours.