Eva Maria Hermann died last Monday. She was a great friend. I met her about 13 years ago when we lived downtown and we both regularly attended a United Church. I heard her speaking one day and her accent sounded Hungarian so I asked her about it. Sure enough, she told me she was a refugee from Hungary but her real escape was from Toronto. She was the only woman I know who lied about her age by increasing it. When we met she said she was 85 which would put her about 98 when she died but I suspect she was about 10 years younger than that. Her sharp wit and resistance to being visited by church do-gooders sparked a long friendship. For quite a few years, she hosted a sort of home church book club where we read and discussed spiritual matters and enjoyed her excellent soup. Her long life was full of pain and disappointment but also amazing travel and joyful friendships. She did not have any family. Her Dad died when she was a baby. Her brother died in the old country. Her Mom followed her here but passed away over 20 years ago. She and her estranged late husband did not have any children. She lived alone in a small apartment in the west end. She swam regularly, volunteered with the senior's counseling society, attended academic lectures and traveled frequently. She was also involved with the Thomas Merton Society. She was about my grandmothers' age but I think our relationship was more like sisters. Once T and I became parents and moved east to our current location, our contact was less frequent but still very regular.
This year unfortunately I hardly saw her at all. Luckily, I went to visit her and brought t last Sunday, one week ago. She was feeling quite down. This time of year is always hard for her. She was also upset because her building management was raising maintenance fees indiscriminately and she and the other residents were feeling like they were being pushed out. Perhaps the stress was too much. Little t and I were the last to see her alive. When we left she was smiling with her beautiful kind eyes.
Eva credited me with diagnosing her as dyslexic. She confused letters and mixed up right and left all the time. The day after she died, I was stumbling through a yoga class mixing up my left and right which I don't generally do. I think God let her get a little message through. She's ok up there. May she soar into eternal grace.
On Oct. 21, 2010 we lost FarMor. I suppose she was leaving for awhile but she was remarkably present even at Thanksgiving when I last saw her. She had been battling cancer since spring 2009 but I for one thought she had it beaten last Christmas. When she and FarFar returned from Hawaii in spring of this year, her oncologist told us the cancer was back full force and from then on she went into an intense period of chemotherapy and surgeries. She fought hard and did everything she could to gain more time. We are lucky for every minute we had with her.
