2010

This has been quite an intense year. We started with big hopes that we would get more sleep and that FarMor would be ok. We thought we'd get away on vacation at some point and we were excited about kindergarten. Well, it's been completely different than what we wished for in all those areas but we have been very blessed in other areas.

We are still really tired. Little A still wakes up in the night, some nights quite alot. We have night weaned and now we are considering either bringing her bed into our room or keeping in her own room and let her cry more than we do now (which is not too much). If I knew what would work, I would just do it but I feel my mother's instinct is quite blank in this area. All I know is we really need some sleep. We were just visiting Farfar and we all slept in one room. Weirdly, that worked out just fine and she slept through the night for both nights we were there. So, perhaps a clue.

We have not had a vacation but we are going to go to a friend's cabin tomorrow morning. Whoo hoo!

The kindergarten transition needs its own post but let's just say it was WAY more intense than even I was expecting. The good news is, little T got an award for most improved so things are looking up.

I have completed 4 out of 5 of the Coach Training Institute's foundation courses. I am completely amazed by this curriculum and very excited about how I will work with it in my life and future work. I'm still at home right now and I hope to be for awhile longer. I feel so lucky that we've been able to eke it out on one income and with one car. I think it's been really important for both kids.

What am I proud of this year?
I'm so proud of my kids. Little T for handling the roller coaster of emotion around him and within himself and for making new friends at school and being able to express his fears more clearly. Little A for just being so clear and open. For trying hard and for fighting back. For signing and using the potty and telling us off when we've pushed her too far. I'm proud of DH big T for working so hard and being so present with all that was going on. I'm especially grateful for the night time parenting help. For myself, I'm proud of trying something new and taking a risk on the CTI training. I'm proud to be listening to more of myself, not just the very, very strong left brain where all the worry comes from but other signals too. Signals that say, stay home if you want to, it'll be fine. So what if you can't buy all the boots you want? There will be other times for that stuff.

What do I want more of next year?
Of course I want more sleep. That is the foundation of everything else. I would like to see my friends and family more. I would like this place to be a hub of social activity as well as a refuge from it. I would like to write. Here and maybe elsewhere. I would like a few trips. I would like to have lots and lots of time with the kiddos while they still want to hang out with me. Oh yeah, it would be good to read some books.

So, we wish you all the best New Year and we hope you can take some time to take stock and consider what you want to keep and what you want to leave behind.

Blackberry Face

This is the purple blackberry girl who will not go to sleep on summer nights. Not without a fight anyway. This is the girl who thinks it's funny to keep Momma occupied until she has to go to bed. Maybe all the summer sounds of kids and dogs and trains and boats and watering and conversations make her think she's missing something. How could she miss anything when she's the centre of it all?

Crackers

I've been slammed by lack of sleep for awhile. Little A's patterns are all over the place and I can't seem to find a way to surf it. Anyway, the upshot is, no time for computer or anything really. It will pass. In the meantime, here's a shot of our lunch picnic in our yard this week. Finally some sun.

What a couple of hams.

This is the first we've spent time in our postage stamp sized front yard. We had a tenant up until Jan and he was a grumpy guy. It didn't feel private enough to hang out in our own yard but now we can! It's great!

Hey, You eating that?

Sleep is improving, thanks for asking. I hesitate to say we have it conquered because as you know, if you don't like what they're doing, it'll change and if you like what they're doing, it'll change. For example, after quite a few nights of 7 hour stretches (yay, yay, yay!) she slammed us twice with 4's and 5's. This wouldn't be so bad except we get confident in a pattern and we start to stay up late. Always a big mistake for me.

In other development news, we see the IDP consultant about once per month. We've seen a physiotherapist twice and we now go every two months. We are grateful for these services, but I do worry that the physio especially is not frequent enough. Both times we've gone, they have pointed out subtle but important adjustments I could make in our daily habits; how we pick A up, how we guide her to change positions, how we help her with supported standing. The worrier in me has been surprisingly quiet so far in this journey but it's peeking out a little now as we see the delays more. I found an excellent book at the DSRF library. It's called Time to Begin by Valentin Dimitriev. There is an updated edition in the 2000's. It's been really helpful. It's easy to read and very practical and it's armed me with more knowledge and vocabulary for the professional visits. It is WAY more useful than the book that arrived with the diagnosis. He is also very upbeat about the possibilities for people with Down Syndrome.

So, we are working on leg strength by doing soft-kneed standing. We are working on hands and knees position and we are working on moving from lying down to sitting. A doesn't like the hands and knees exercises at all. She always wants to be grabbing something and investigating. I think this is great but it's hard to get through the stuff we're supposed to get through. I try to keep it opportunistic rather than drill-like. There are days when I just want to play. So we do.

Eating is going well but there is a shift. She is no longer content with baby mush. She's figured out that we're eating more interesting fare and she wants it. She's grabbing it right out of my hand. It's great but she often gets distracted by the self feeding and she's eating less as a result. I'm sure it'll change but feeding times are a little long right now.

Elimination communication is going well for solids. We hear the signal and head to the toilet. She knows what to do. I'm still amazed by this but so happy. I spent part of last week upgrading her diaper supply. We're using cloth and I was combing craigslist for more. We found 12 brand new organic cotton prefolds for $35. We should be good until she's done. EC for liquid is still pretty casual. I try once per day after the morning nursing session. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't. We still reinforce the pssssss sound when she goes in her diaper but I'm wondering if a sign would work better since visual learning is easier.

In the fine motor department, her pincer grip is starting to show up with all those finger foods. We don't see it much elsewhere but she's definitely working on it at the table and as she spends so much time there, I'm not focusing on it otherwise.

Communication has been interesting. She signed 'milk' at six months but didn't really do it consistently and she hasn't picked up any new signs. I was explaining this to another parent at a playgroup and suddenly she signed for 'milk' (which sometimes means 'tired') and it was unmistakeable. Then at a birthday party, T was feeding her some yummy bread. She turned to look up at him and said 'Dada' and then did the 'more' sign. It's not wise to get excited by one demonstration of progress but hey, it just happened and it was pretty cute.

For those of you unfamiliar with the age range for developmental milestones, here are a few to give you an idea what to expect. This is from the above-mentioned book. Sorry for the formatting. I did it in word and pasted the source in here so it's a little wonky.

	Children with DS		“Normal” Children
Milestone	Average Age in Months	Range in Months	Average age in Months	Range in Months
Smiling	2	1.5 to 4	1	0.5 to 3
Rolling over	8	4 to 22	5	2 to 10
Sitting alone	10	6 to 28	7	5 to 9
Crawling	12	7 to 21	8	6 to 11
Standing	20	11 to 42	11	8 to 16
Walking	24	12 to 65	13	8 to 18
Talking, words	16	9 to 31	10	6 to 14
Talking, sentences	28	18 to 96	21	14 to 32

On the cuteness milestones, she broke the monitor, so we only know she's off the chart.

Sleep and other stuff

We've been sleep 'shaping'. I suppose some would call it sleep training but as you know I cannot do the cry-it-out thing. I physically can't do it. Sometime just after Christmas, A went from waking once per night (manageable) to three times (not). If she would co-sleep, it might have worked but I had to get up, go down the hall and often it takes me a very long time to get back to sleep so I wasn't doing very well. Anyway, our new plan was to try to eliminate the 2am feeding by sending in T with water. She wasn't crazy about it but she adapted pretty well. Everyone was worse off for a week or two but things are moving in the right direction. That's the main reason it's been quiet here on the posting front. I really should be sleeping now. That's the daily choice; get to bed right after the kids do or have a bit of adult time. Too often, I let sleep lapse and well.... this blog has its name for a reason.

A is doing well. Lot's to talk about there but that will have to be another post. We had her 2nd physio session (we go every 2 months) on Thursday. We're working on the hands and knees position and teaching her to get from lying down to sitting up. Eating is going very well and she's mastered clapping. There's nothing better than coming into her field of vision and getting a round of applause just for showing up. (I apologize for my annoying voice but she likes it)

Here she is at a party, trying to grab her Dad's wine glass. Are we in for trouble or what?

In little t news, there was a fall down, head bump with stitches adventure. It was a rare sunny day and I struggled to get outside with both kids between naps and feedings. It took about 20 minutes of uphill battle to get them both ready to get out. We walked along together breathing in some fresh air. I was so excited to leave the building. Tor ran ahead a little bit and A was on my back in the ergo. We were heading to a trail but while still on the road, I looked back to ensure an approaching car was not heading our way. I kept walking with my head turned and tripped t who had slowed to wait for me. He fell headfirst to the pavement and it wasn't pretty. Lots of blood and tears. We weren't far from home and we rushed back to clean it up. Luckily T was there and he helped me. Thank God for skype. We skyped my mom, Grandma R, a nurse and she advised us that he needed stitches or at least a steri-tape thingy so we headed to the doctor. He was very brave and it's healing up nicely. We have been very lucky. We hardly go to the doctor at all.

It has been a bleary-eyed month so far but I've had a few moments of clarity. One of them came on a day where I had had a good sleep the night before. Little t and I were playing soccer in the downstairs room while A was napping. Suddenly it hit me. These days I am spending with both kids are so fleeting. In September he'll be going to school everyday possibly for full days. I'll miss him so much. I must do my best to soak it all in even when I'm so tired I could collapse. My official maternity leave is done in March but I will try to take the summer off as well. How could I miss it? Yes, it will be tight but these times are not coming back.