2010

This has been quite an intense year. We started with big hopes that we would get more sleep and that FarMor would be ok. We thought we'd get away on vacation at some point and we were excited about kindergarten. Well, it's been completely different than what we wished for in all those areas but we have been very blessed in other areas.

We are still really tired. Little A still wakes up in the night, some nights quite alot. We have night weaned and now we are considering either bringing her bed into our room or keeping in her own room and let her cry more than we do now (which is not too much). If I knew what would work, I would just do it but I feel my mother's instinct is quite blank in this area. All I know is we really need some sleep. We were just visiting Farfar and we all slept in one room. Weirdly, that worked out just fine and she slept through the night for both nights we were there. So, perhaps a clue.

We have not had a vacation but we are going to go to a friend's cabin tomorrow morning. Whoo hoo!

The kindergarten transition needs its own post but let's just say it was WAY more intense than even I was expecting. The good news is, little T got an award for most improved so things are looking up.

I have completed 4 out of 5 of the Coach Training Institute's foundation courses. I am completely amazed by this curriculum and very excited about how I will work with it in my life and future work. I'm still at home right now and I hope to be for awhile longer. I feel so lucky that we've been able to eke it out on one income and with one car. I think it's been really important for both kids.

What am I proud of this year?
I'm so proud of my kids. Little T for handling the roller coaster of emotion around him and within himself and for making new friends at school and being able to express his fears more clearly. Little A for just being so clear and open. For trying hard and for fighting back. For signing and using the potty and telling us off when we've pushed her too far. I'm proud of DH big T for working so hard and being so present with all that was going on. I'm especially grateful for the night time parenting help. For myself, I'm proud of trying something new and taking a risk on the CTI training. I'm proud to be listening to more of myself, not just the very, very strong left brain where all the worry comes from but other signals too. Signals that say, stay home if you want to, it'll be fine. So what if you can't buy all the boots you want? There will be other times for that stuff.

What do I want more of next year?
Of course I want more sleep. That is the foundation of everything else. I would like to see my friends and family more. I would like this place to be a hub of social activity as well as a refuge from it. I would like to write. Here and maybe elsewhere. I would like a few trips. I would like to have lots and lots of time with the kiddos while they still want to hang out with me. Oh yeah, it would be good to read some books.

So, we wish you all the best New Year and we hope you can take some time to take stock and consider what you want to keep and what you want to leave behind.

FarMor

On Oct. 21, 2010 we lost FarMor. I suppose she was leaving for awhile but she was remarkably present even at Thanksgiving when I last saw her. She had been battling cancer since spring 2009 but I for one thought she had it beaten last Christmas. When she and FarFar returned from Hawaii in spring of this year, her oncologist told us the cancer was back full force and from then on she went into an intense period of chemotherapy and surgeries. She fought hard and did everything she could to gain more time. We are lucky for every minute we had with her.

She was beautiful, graceful, elegant, an amazing event planner and hostess, an artist and an all around fascinating person. I hope and pray that the many gifts she had are passed on to her kids and my kids.

I bought these crazy sunglasses this year thinking they were so Fellini. I was wearing them on a visit over to see Farmor and she got such a kick out of them. So I handed them over. Here she is with FarFar on the deck enjoying the sunshine in late summer looking like a movie star.

Blackberry Face

This is the purple blackberry girl who will not go to sleep on summer nights. Not without a fight anyway. This is the girl who thinks it's funny to keep Momma occupied until she has to go to bed. Maybe all the summer sounds of kids and dogs and trains and boats and watering and conversations make her think she's missing something. How could she miss anything when she's the centre of it all?

Peace be the Journey

This is probably all over the community news already but I just got wind of it. This guy Casper is riding across Canada to raise money for the Canadian Down Syndrome Society. His goal is $1 million. His inspiration is his cousin Andrew. Click here to find out more. You can even sign up for a daily inspirational text message. Go Casper, Go Andrew!

Summer BBQ

Here's little A at a BBQ earlier tonight. My friend took the photo with her excellent uber camera. A is quite the party girl. I get that horrible song in my head "my girl likes to party all the time". I think it was Eddie Murphy in the 80's. It's true though. I put a dress on her and let her see herself in the mirror and she goes mental. She loves the outfits and she seems to get that a dress means a party. This one is a little pinafore for that sophisticated casual look.

It takes her ages to fall asleep on party nights though. It's tough to wind down. Like mother, like daugher.

I've gotta keep this short. I'm stealing time from sleep myself.

humuhumunukunukuapua'a

Farmor, your grandson has something to say to you.

Thankful for Good Health

Last week I took baby A to the hospital for a routine blood test for her thyroid. T had taken her to a medical lab the week before but they had not been able to get a good vein so the poking and prodding had been in vain. The lab at the hospital was a better bet for finding kids' veins.

I was not looking forward to it but it had to be done so off we went, just the two of us. I had had a restless night so I was bone tired. Being tired is not unusual for me but most of the time, bad nights are due to one or both of the kids. So, I was scanning my state trying to figure out what was bugging me. As we made our way there, parked and walked to the lab it became increasingly obvious. I was having an internal freak-out about the needle that was about to pierce my precious child's arm. I've always hated needles and the thought of her happy little self suddenly feeling pain while I held her there insisting that it was good and the right thing to do was causing a turmoil that kept me awake and created a pit in my stomach. As I waited there with her in the waiting room, I kept thinking how foolish I was. After all, she's healthy. We've only had a few routine tests. We've never had a hospital stay. We've only had one really bad fever / flu. We are so blessed and lucky. And yet, there I was shaking in my boots.

Her cry of protest was heartbreaking but the very experienced nurses did their work quickly and little A was cheerful again long before I was.

I guess what I'm trying to say is, I can't believe the bravery of all the parents I've read about who have kept vigils for their little ones while they undergo all kinds of scary procedures. Brain operations, heart operations, bowel operations. I'm also trying to say THANK YOU GOD! We are so lucky to have been spared that walk so far and my heart and prayers go out to all families who are in waiting rooms with that pit in their stomachs.